I Explain the Marvel Cinematic Universe....With a Catch

I’ve never seen a full Marvel movie. Now, before I get an angry, but socially distanced, mob at my door let me explain. I’ve honestly just never been that into superhero movies. When I was younger I would try to watch them, but it normally resulted in my falling asleep before I could ever finish the movie. In more recent times, I went to see Spiderman: Far From Home in theatres. Unfortunately, though, I fell asleep during one of the battle scenes and woke up to the credits. I feel somewhat bad for falling asleep during movies because I genuinely love and respect film and the effort that goes into making a movie. However, I know that there are many other people out there like me. Therefore, I think that it is only fair that I explain to all the Marvel lovers, and haters, out in the world exactly what I think happens in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

BACKSTORY-

Backstory is important when telling a story and The Marvel Cinematic Universe has a lot of it. This starts during World War II when the government wanted to make a powerful weapon to defeat the Axis powers. Scientists came together and created a shield and suit that, when worn together, gives the person the ability to deflect objects such as bullets and debris. After the suit is done, the government chooses a soldier named Chris to be Captain America.

Fast Forward about fifty years, time travel has been invented (this is important later). Oh, and, Tony Stark is the head of Stark Industries. Stark Industries is the Marvel version of Apple. However, there is another company, NSI (Not-Stark Industries, I don’t know the actual name), which is the Marvel version of Samsung. These two companies are in competition with each other. NSI, however, has come up with a plan to make supervillains who brainwash the users of Stark Industries to switch over to NSI. Once Tony learns of this, he decides that he is going to make actual superheroes to save everyone from being brainwashed by NSI. Since Tony likes history, he knows about the Captain America project. So, he uses time travel to bring Captain America into the future to help him build his superheroes. Thus, the Avengers were created.

STORY-

Once the Avengers were created, Tony told Captain America to stay and fight with them. Feeling a strong sense of patriotism, Captain America agrees. When the Avengers meet their first villain, Loki, they are stunned by his chariot. Loki flies around in a chariot with lasers. He uses the lasers to zap people in the brain. The Avengers lose their first battle with Loki. Since Tony has an unnaturally large ego, this sends him into a spiral. The Avengers decide to disband because they can no longer take Tony’s rage.

A year goes by and the NSI has slowly begun brainwashing people into switching over to their company. Tony has also fallen into a dark time in his personal life. This is until, one day, Tony hears a knock at his door. Disgruntled and annoyed he opened the door to a wimpy teenage boy named Peter Parker, who tells Tony that he has gained spider powers after being bitten by a radioactive spider. He wants to help Tony go against the NSI. Tony tells Peter that they no longer do that. Peter doesn’t take no for an answer and convinces Tony to get the Avengers back together. After some convincing, the Avengers agree. The Avengers, now with Spiderman, go out and beat Loki. However, the NSI has a more powerful supervillain now, and Tony realizes that he is going to need more heroes.

This is where he creates the best superhero of the entire Marvel franchise: Ant-Man. Now, side note, I have no idea what Ant-Man’s actual power is, but I love my idea. Ant-Man has a telepathic connection with ants and wasps. When he wants to attack a villain, he summons his ant army, and the ants suffocate the villain. This man single-handedly has power over every ant and wasp in the world. AND Ant-Man is Paul Rudd!

The new Avengers go and fight villains like Thanos. However, in the final battle between the Avengers and Thanos, Tony is killed. They have a Beowulf-style funeral, but instead of sending him out to sea, they send Tony off in Loki’s old chariot and blast lasers at the NSI headquarters so that they can no longer make supervillains.

The End.

Obviously, my story may be a little off. However, I know that many of our readers are actually big fans of Marvel. So, tell us in the comments of this post, how close was I to the actual story?